You see, Lynn had always had a high sex drive that has only seemed to grow rather than diminish like some of her friends.So, we are fucking all the time and when we're not, we're playing with each other or giving oral or masturbating each other. I usually get a hand job during the news each night, just don't tell Brian Williams.We've lived in the same house for fourteen years now and we've had the same neighbor, Nina, all that time.Nina and Lynn are good friends and they have coffee all the time. She's a few years older than we are and this all started about a week before her sixty-eighth birthday.Lynn came back from having coffee and told me about her upcoming birthday, complete with a suggestion to commemorate the event."You should fuck her silly for her birthday, Hank, really give it to her and make it an all day affair." Whoa, where the hell did this come from?" Oh, she was telling me how much she's missed sex since Herb died." Geez, that's eleven, twelve years ago," I added."Yes. This is not so funnyFor those who have children nearing this age ... this is a warningFor those who have not yet had children ... this is birth controlThings I've learned from my children... (honest and no kidding!)1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.3. A 3 year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't.
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